Paper vs Computer

I have been asked, and wondered about this myself, as to how I am unable to write what I thought of directly into the computer, saving double-handling of writing and then transposing what I've written into word processor.

It got me stumped for a long while, too. I've been able to create professional letters and flyers out of thin air, but when it comes to my novels... staring at the white screen would only block, or worse, empty my mind rather than fill it with words. Even if I had thought in my head exactly what I wanted to write, by the time I reached the computer and opened a blank word document, the string of sentences have completely deserted me.

Today, I think, I finally find the answer. I think it has something to do with the static form of the screen. To me, paper is more organic, but that's not all; there is something more than just... the composition of these two mediums. With paper, and pen, I am 'forced' to look down, I guess... look away from every other distractions, save music. When I struggle for words, that's when I put my head up, like inhaling breath after immersing under water, and around me are... sceneries, I guess; whether it is the sight of my husband, with headphones attached to his ears, bopping along to his own music he's listening on his computer, or my little doggie snoring peacefully by my feet, or, if I'm outside, the swaying of overgrown grass by the wind; they are all more organic stuff I can draw inspirations from.

I don't think I can do that with computer; the sheer point of staring at something, white and unmoving, for a long time; the confine of my fingers to the keyboard; the disruptions of... icons and colours; the additional glare from the light that after a while hurts my eyes; and, most of the time, the moving images of whatever it is currently on TV (more static, you see?).

Having said that, here comes the dilemma. I have, from time to time, whilst devoting all my thoughts to the Lizzy & Michael novels, had bouts of inspirations about Eleanor I; how to make it better, how to make sentences flow easily; how to describe particular objects, feelings and reasonings better (for a lack of a better word).

I *really* (perhaps I should really bold and underline that), REALLY, don't want to handwrite the whole Eleanor I; not when I already have version 13 of the rough draft. I tried this, yesterday, in fact, to just start amending the word document. I managed to do about 4 pages, all of which I ended up tossing this morning into the bin because... you guessed it... it's not the same with how I've pictured it in my head, and not the same with how I would have done it had I handwritten these improvements.

So I'm at a loss as to what to do...