Zodiac Forecasts

I must say that perhaps, these have been somewhat accurate lately. There was a forecast about me not being able to let go (see - Taurean, holding a grudge... shameful as I am to admit, I do sometimes have a tendency not to let go of the simple, somewhat petty things).

This is a back-track, and perhaps a lot of it has more to do with my high expectation rather than anything else. But, in the week leading up to Fred's little brother's 30th birthday, we were approached by Fred's little sister to pitch in for a purchase of a laptop, costing in total $1000.

We flatly refused (and it took every ounce of my being not to bash my head repeatedly against the wall). First, well, you're asking us to fork out in excess of $200 for his birthday. Second, you're asking us to do this less than a week prior to the big day.

On Thursday night, we received a call from Fred's Mum.... you guessed it. She was trying to get us to pitch in again. It turned out Fred's older brother and his family, who had just returned from a 2-week holiday in Japan, didn't want to pitch in either (I wonder why), which meant each of us would have had to fork out MORE money. Fred flatly refused.

On Friday, we received an email from said little sister asking if we're coming to dinner to celebrate said birthday. There has been NO communication about dinner whatsoever, apart from the fact that they were thinking that it would be SUNDAY LUNCH, and all of a sudden, "are you coming?" Coming WHERE?

I don't know which fact infuriated me more... the fact that we were being told at the last minute, expected to drop everything we have planned because they believed that this was the sort of dependable couple we were, or the fact that Fred didn't see the point of picking up that armour and shield and at the very least said "I had no idea about dinner on Friday night" to his little sister.

And so I grumbled and whinged and screamed and pouted my lips at the whole situation; at the fact that Fred's family seemed to think that they could walk all over us; at the lack of clear communication and feeling that everyone would think we're the bad guys; at the fact that every single one of Fred's family members think the world only revolved around them.

Contrary to what I've set out at the beginning of the year to try and salvage my relationship with my in-laws, I found myself washing my hands off, almost completely, from every single one of Fred's family. I know, perhaps this isn't the most conducive solution, but I honestly couldn't put myself where I was during the early years of my marriage with Fred, when I looked forward to visiting and spending time with Fred's Mum and Dad; when I had very little problem and objections to spending half, to a whole day, chatting with his older brother's family and playing with my niece and nephew. Now, I cringed and found myself trying to find every possible excuse to not go, and when I did get there, I found myself counting each passing minute, wanting to bolt out of there.

So it's time to let go, and the only thing could think of to do this, is to grit my teeth, don't sweat the small stuff (read: let Fred deal with his family - after all, it is HIS family), be civil when I'm around them, and return to the sanctuary that is my home, my life separate from them, my writing, my husband; the right family member I'm married to.