But I did a 30-minute power walk today (just realised too that this could be what I was referring to, because I haven't done any kind of exercise for a while, unless you count lifting the PVC blinds to be installed on the patio is one...), and the 'Secret' song, sung by Sarah McLachlan, came through eerily on my iTouch, and I immediately thought about this particular section I've written in Michael & Lizzy.
It was a lamented song; a sad ballad written about regret; about not saying what you wanted, or should have said, including your goodbyes and forgiving one another, until it was too late.
The basic of this gave me inspiration for this passage; and, without sounding self-righteous or arrogant, it is one of the better passages I've written; one in which I could claim proudly, and show off happily. It also, I just realised, seemed more than fitting to put in here, given what I've just witnessed during the month February-March.
When I was little, I likened my Mother to a superhero; her superpower being that she possessed a love so powerful that at any appropriate moment, it could be transformed into a spear and a shield, ready to barricade and defend those she loved from any harm.
As years went by, her love for her family didn’t diminish; on the contrary, I think it was fair to say that Sarah Hartley approached everything in life the way she loved each and every one of us; fiercely and courageously, because to do otherwise was to admit fear and defeat against the intimidating world we all live in presently. It was also a trait she tried so very hard to impart to both her daughters, Megan and I; a wisdom she wanted us to adopt; a defence mechanism she would like us to have and use in necessary circumstances.
But, like any other superheroes, tough, strong and unbreakable on the outside, my Mother had an abundance of soft, gentle kindness in her; able to envelop each of us with warmth without suffocation, doting and nurturing; traces of personality traits I have begun to see emerging in my younger sister, Megan.
Lizzy took a deep breath and opened her mouth before she closed it again with such effort and gulped uneasily. Slowly, she pried her gaze away from the people sitting down in front of her, all eyes focussed on her, and twisted her head around, staring straight into the eyes of a blown-up picture of her Mother, trying to find the last shreds of spirit and draw strength that could radiate from a piece of glossy paper behind a thin sheet of glass.
None of us expected this; not to happen in the way it did, and certainly not so soon. None of us was prepared to say goodbye to this brave, wonderful, loving woman. But, it seemed that, somehow, we had to.
So…, Lizzy paused and bit her bottom lip as she heard the quiver in her voice, to my Mother, Sarah Hartley; admired and loved by her partner in life; adored and idolised by her daughters; respected by all who knew her. May you rest in peace, free from all suffering, and know that you will be sorely missed by those you left behind.
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