Haven't done this in a while...

But I did a 30-minute power walk today (just realised too that this could be what I was referring to, because I haven't done any kind of exercise for a while, unless you count lifting the PVC blinds to be installed on the patio is one...), and the 'Secret' song, sung by Sarah McLachlan, came through eerily on my iTouch, and I immediately thought about this particular section I've written in Michael & Lizzy.

It was a lamented song; a sad ballad written about regret; about not saying what you wanted, or should have said, including your goodbyes and forgiving one another, until it was too late.

The basic of this gave me inspiration for this passage; and, without sounding self-righteous or arrogant, it is one of the better passages I've written; one in which I could claim proudly, and show off happily. It also, I just realised, seemed more than fitting to put in here, given what I've just witnessed during the month February-March.

When I was little, I likened my Mother to a superhero; her superpower being that she possessed a love so powerful that at any appropriate moment, it could be transformed into a spear and a shield, ready to barricade and defend those she loved from any harm.

As years went by, her love for her family didn’t diminish; on the contrary, I think it was fair to say that Sarah Hartley approached everything in life the way she loved each and every one of us; fiercely and courageously, because to do otherwise was to admit fear and defeat against the intimidating world we all live in presently. It was also a trait she tried so very hard to impart to both her daughters, Megan and I; a wisdom she wanted us to adopt; a defence mechanism she would like us to have and use in necessary circumstances.

But, like any other superheroes, tough, strong and unbreakable on the outside, my Mother had an abundance of soft, gentle kindness in her; able to envelop each of us with warmth without suffocation, doting and nurturing; traces of personality traits I have begun to see emerging in my younger sister, Megan.

Lizzy took a deep breath and opened her mouth before she closed it again with such effort and gulped uneasily. Slowly, she pried her gaze away from the people sitting down in front of her, all eyes focussed on her, and twisted her head around, staring straight into the eyes of a blown-up picture of her Mother, trying to find the last shreds of spirit and draw strength that could radiate from a piece of glossy paper behind a thin sheet of glass.

None of us expected this; not to happen in the way it did, and certainly not so soon. None of us was prepared to say goodbye to this brave, wonderful, loving woman. But, it seemed that, somehow, we had to.

So…, Lizzy paused and bit her bottom lip as she heard the quiver in her voice, to my Mother, Sarah Hartley; admired and loved by her partner in life; adored and idolised by her daughters; respected by all who knew her. May you rest in peace, free from all suffering, and know that you will be sorely missed by those you left behind.

Have Finally Bitten the Bullet...

I wonder, in actuality, what that would taste like, bullet. And secondly, why, in reality, would anyone in their right mind would ever want to bite a bullet, whether it's the casing, or the actual poisonous powder itself...

But I digress. What I'm talking about here has nothing to do about destroying my teeth, or digestive system, by tasting something so destructive. It is, rather, the beginning of a new chapter of me pursuing the other love of my life; writing.

For a while now, I've been racking my brain as to what my next step would/should be in trying to get the multitudes of novels I've finished published. I've done a lot of research (seriously, Google IS my friend!) as to what unpublished, unrepresented author should do next.

What I've found, so far, is that publishing, first and foremost, is a tough industry to crack your way into. Secondly, that most publishers will not even bat an eye at unsolicited work - meaning that to get publishers to even pick up your novel proposal, you must be represented by a reputable agent.

All well and good, right? Well, yes, when you put it down like that, in the simplest terms, that sounds easy enough. All I have to do is get an agent. But, just like you have to go through several hundreds, if not thousands interviews before you land your feet on that perfect job you've always wanted, agent-hunting is no different than job-hunting. You have to put yourself out there, send your resume (in this case, the pitch for your novel), any supporting documentation you think might help your case (pages of your novel), and sit there crossing all your fingers, toes, and everything else that can be crossed, hoping that somehow, all the other unpublished authors are currently experiencing mental block and have written crap-all proposal and novel so that yours come out on top (ok, not literally, but you get my meaning).

I did attempt just this mid- last year (I think!), and got a rejection email some 10 minutes later. By far, the quickest rejection I have ever gotten! Not that it discouraged me, but it did get me thinking that perhaps, I was approaching this whole publishing thing head on when I should have considered the side entrance.

So, after much research, a slight procrastination on my part, and a lot of self pep-talk that this *should* be a worthwile path to take, on Monday, I subscribed myself to the local Writers' Association.

I can't tell you how much, in the course of 2 days, I've been 'patting' my back with this decision. It's like a door to a brand new mansion has been opened to me, showing me all the useful little knick-knacks I didn't even know existed. Yes, a very materialistic metaphor, I know, but it's the best I could come up with at the moment.

This centre has emailed me tons of resources, from courses run by prominent local writers throughout the year to competitions - something I have never thought of entering, but now have a much better understanding to its benefits in getting my foot closer to the publishing world.

So, watch this space for all the writing-type activities I'm planning to partake this year. And in the words of someone famous.... I AM EXCITED!